Good News: Racing.
T Town was fun. I got DQ'd for cheating because I dropped off the back of the pack and towed Tony up to help him lap the field. Tony didn't get DQ'd just a warning, ended up with 3rd in the omnium. Nobody ever laps the field at Kissena, that situation is kinda new to us. We learned some rules and Tony got upgrade points. Success through failure. The best I did was 6th place, give or take, in the 15k Scratch. I elbowed my way on to Pat Gellineau's wheel with 3 to go and I took it all the way around. I didn't even see him until the race was more than half over and he got 3rd. I love that guy's racing style.
Kissena was good too. I was a little distracted from earlier that day and I was cooked from racing the night before but still managed to get 3rd in two scratch races, the 1/2/3 and the A Feature.
Bad News: Metal.
This shit is heavy (hehe). Hugs and I were kicked out of Atakke on Wednesday. I saw Hugo's dismissal coming but mine was out of the blue. Hugo left after they told him. Parting words: "Bill, were not in a band anymore. Watch your mouth around me."
I didn't really get it at first. I told them I didn't want to be out that I would do what I need to to stay in. Sam didn't say anything. Chloe chimed in that it was up for debate. I demanded to know why it was. Bill said that it was business. That two promoters, Greg Dailey from Phily (Pointless Fest dude) and Ian Dickson from Jersey (Hardcore Gig Vol. dude), had told him that they wouldn't book us because of me and Hugo's bad behavior. Specifically that they said my ego was too big, that I acted like a rockstar and I was only in it for myself and that I wasn't a part of the scene. He also cited that I don't practice at home and that I blew up at him at Knitting Factory show, that I often don't help with loading and that bailing on them Saturday night to go home with the girl was the last straw.
I have to get all James Joseph and call bullshit on Bills reasons. I have to call bullshit on Bill. He kicked me out because we don't get along. Because he can't control me, because I argue and fight to get what I want out of the band.
First the lies about two promoters. I might understand Greg Dailey being a little leery of Hugs and I for smoking a big joint in the backstage of the Knitting Factory and getting yelled at by the sound guy. That's the only time that I was involved with him in the last year. Bill didn't mention that, he just repeated a criticism that he's had of me since the beginning of our performances. He first told me that my ego was an issue was when I wanted to wait a few minutes to play at Europa. We were on stage and the promoter wanted a band playing when people came in. I wanted to wait for the initial line at the door to get into the club to start. We started according to Bill's rules. So if he hadn't just repeated what he told me often before I might buy that. He also mentioned that I didn't do it for the scene. I don't. I make this music for the 15 y/o version of my self, the outcast in rural America. I took solace in metal and punk growing up alienated and lonely in a very small town. I took solace in knowing that there were others like me in the world, others that were frustrated and angry. Others that knew there world is fucked, that society is fucked. That people are fucked.
I mentioned this to Gina and she said that she'd heard other people complaining that I didn't deserve to be in Atakke because I don't hang out and I don't support the scene or go to shows. Funny.
Yes, I blew up at him at the Knitting Factory. That was a complex issue. Without going into too much detail, lets just say that in the number and severity of blow ups that we have exchanged throughout the last two years, Bill is winning.
Not practicing at home. Thats not true either. I don't practice at home often or frequently, but leading up to the last few big shows and the recording earlier this year I did. Just a couple of sessions between practices. We did practice three days a week. I train, race, and run a business outside of the band. Plus I had a girlfriend. Full plate.
Truth of the matter was that I was stretching my abilities to play some more of our technical material. I am a mediocre/hack bass player. But that's what us bass players are, thats why we don't play guitar. I do have a good sense of rhythm and was super tight with Hugo's drumming. We're gonna keep playing with James on guitar.
Finally, the loading issue. To me, this is the funniest one. I load a lot of shit. I have only just bailed on loading that one time that I can recall. I might have bailed a couple of other times. We have played a lot of shows. There have been times that factors other than getting laid (e.g. work, not being told when we were meeting to load) have kept me from loading in or out but, I more than make up for it for the countless times I have loaded out or in all by myself, or done the bulk of the heavy lifting (they call me Muscle Tits). Plus Chloe bails all the time. To do coke. Bill said he yells at her, but he doesn't kick her out of the band.
Whatever. I don't want to be in a band with Bill anymore. I can't surround myself with people that I hold such negative opinions of. This is for the best. This frees me up to go to the NACCC and defend my sprint title. Plus I like this girl I met. The band thing adds an element of visceral intensity to the agape emotions of meeting someone new. I can't help but draw similarities to when I quit Trackstar.
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